Sunday, October 16, 2005

To the class and poster

I had tried not to blog about school and exams, but I can’t hold it anymore. I need to release it, I really have to…

I think I am going to retain, going to have one more year of Secondary 3 life. I can’t do the paper. I don’t know why. I did my work; I revise my work, why can’t I do the paper? Why am I such a failure when others around me can do much better than me? Why people around me are so clever when I am so stupid? Why I always met different kinds of difficulties when other people don’t have much? Why, can anyone answer me?

Things I aimed I didn’t get, why? Why I have this weird feeling during exam? Why the things I d can’t be perfect…

If the heaven don’t want me to get the things I want, why let me continue my life in this world? I am a useless to this world, the world will be much happier without me. I may, give others sadness without me realising. Please, what other things I don’t know, what unhappiness things I had given to others when I though it would help them? Why people think I always harm them when I am helping them? Why can’t they appreciate the things I had done to them. I tried my best to be a nice guy, but what to I get in the end? You want to win me over exam, I helped you along, but why, in the end your treated me so cruel, it is so cruel that I can’t take it anymore. I try to use my tolerance to take it, but after one year, one whole year, I might no longer take it anymore.

In exams, some people will happy some will don’t. I would be happy for those who will be happy for their result and sad together with the unhappy people. I got nothing to said, I can’t be always top in Account, and I admit I can’t do the paper. I might fail the paper. For those who can do the paper and got the answer correct, I will happy for them. Because we study together, we need to be in the same room for other 2 year before we all get separated. I might, sometimes jealous over someone studies, want to aim to win over that person in exams. But is this wrong? I don’t know, but it was set as a goal in exam. But I never challenge anyone; the goal I set is only a secret to me.

I don’t know how badly I will do for my exams, how teacher and other classmate think of me because of this exam. Will teacher scold me? Will I kick out by school? Will I say “Hi” to the Sec 2? Will I…

If one day, I leave this place secretly, next year when they find out that I had leave, will they be happy? Will they open campaign because of it? I guess so…because the class hates me a lot…

On the tag board:
Above post is for you (the poster in the tag-board), and the class.

-YK
Suddenly miss Ah Ma(Grandmother), I wonder when can I se her again…

posted by YK @ 2:54 AM

5 Comments:

juz ignore tt idiot ar.. last time i in sec sch oso a lot this kind of ppl wan.
it's hard to ignore them, lar. budden after u all seperate sch u wun give a damn abt him at all liao.

anyway, i think my class's idiots are even braver then me. atleast they aren't an anonymouse.

By Blogger 壁虎, at October 16, 2005 3:11 AM  

From your entry I gathered that there are 2 things that affect you: (1) your inability to do your papers resulting in a loss of confidence and (2) the malicious remark left on your tagboard.

To (1), many of us struggle with exams and it is normal when we don't do well in them even though we have worked hard during the year. Why? Because we freaked out during exams and suffer mental block--the mind becomes totally blank and just cannot recall what we have learnt. Try to find out the cause of the problem (eg. the paper was too difficult, not in good mental or emotional state, exam anxiety etc) and work on it.

Wallowing in self-pity will only make you feel worse and cause you to have a low self-esteem. This will become a vicious cycle and further affects your future performance.

I believe you are a conscientious student who have tried your best. So maybe it is the exam stress that got you down.

In life we will definitely meet with failures. Failure itself is not a bad thing, what is worse is the failure to pick yourself up and strive to overcome the obstacle.

To (2), no one person can be liked by everyone, so it is perfectly normal if someone dislikes you. It is impossible to please everyone. So don't get defeated by one single remark like this. If you do, you have fallen into the trap of the person who left this remark as this is precisely his or her intention.

Pick up yourself from where you fall and tell yourself not to repeat the same mistake again. Face the adversities of life with resilence, courage and optimism.

I believe you will, and you can =)

TT

By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 16, 2005 3:07 PM  

壁虎, Thank you, Eh... you last time also like that?

匿名"TT"...(1), I might not well prepare, my emotional of my grandmother pass away might haven't overcome yet...I don't know. I had always trying my best to pick up from failures, but sometimes I faied.

However, I will try to pick up myself again.....Thank you, TT

By Blogger YK, at October 17, 2005 11:03 AM  

got who last time not liddat wan?
in sec sch, especially lower sec, it's either u are the bully, or the victim. it's always the case when bo liao ppl are around. and ironically, these ppl nv seem to extinct.

*shrugs*

By Blogger 壁虎, at October 17, 2005 10:28 PM  

have u get over it yet? relax lar... don't care how other ppl look upon u, live u life with all ur heart.

By Blogger shiaulin, at October 18, 2005 12:22 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home